Hey "slam fiend"

Truly awful forum threads best forgotten but worth preserving for ongoing, on-demand facepalms.
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 02:51

I just saw your picture in the photos section. You are a chunky, rotund looking splendid mate of mine, take my hand as we cross this meadow. Like a bowling ball. Hell I'd be surprised if you weren't thrown around like a bowling ball in real life. I'd be bitter too if I had my ass kicked around all the time. Growing that beard is a good idea. It'll add inches to your height.
 
Anyway, since I get a lot of flak for being malicious, mean spirited and negative, I'm going to try something different for once, something positive.
 
Here is my Three Step Program to get you in shape, like when you were preparing for the army (but didn't quite make it): 
 
Step 1: Drink less beer, or cut it out completely. We have now two threads on that subject, and there's some free counselling in there. 
 
Step 2: Follow the thread made by Lavabutt on fitness and try out some of the techniques. A lot of self-improvement inspiration to be found in there from the reports on progress on weight loss, improving strength etc. Do as Lavabutt does, without the whining and self-flagellation. Stop buying gay metal shirts and save that money to spend on a gym membership. Careful you don't get bowled over while you're on the treadmill. To top it off, you'll get positive energy from looking at all the girls at the gym. Since none of those girls want to date a fat, disgusting pig who has a drug problem, that should motivate you to get in their league by sorting yourself out.
 
Step 3: Think like an intellectual, read, and write, instead of acting like a dumb racist who judges all the world based on encounters in his own backyard. This is essential if people are to actually like you as a person. This is a prerequisite for breaking out from your current mold, that circle of morons you currently hang out with who contribute to your situation. Garbage In, Garbage Out. Thinking like an ignorant peon will guaranteed place you in a circle of morons.
 
So, fix your diet and intake, fix your physical routine, and re-orient your intellectual compass. 
User avatar
Josh
Postwhore
Posts: 40191
Joined: 14 Apr 2009, 06:40
Location: Wouldst thou like the taste of butter and pretty dress? Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Josh » 03 Nov 2014, 02:56

quit being a f.aggot and suck that dick
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 03:05

"Iron" "Man" 
More like Ironically Named Man, amirite?
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 03:08

Yes that is exactly what it means. 
User avatar
zim
Postwhore
Posts: 20816
Joined: 14 Apr 2009, 02:36
Location: US

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby zim » 03 Nov 2014, 03:12

remember this is coming from a man who, as an adult, while living with his parents, hid alcohol in his closet so daddy wouldn't get mad at him
Image
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 03:13

Would you rather I had a drug problem back in the day, to add credibility? Or do my words carry weight regardless? More importantly, do you have any advice for slam fiend that's better than mine? 
User avatar
scunt.
Metal God
Posts: 13888
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 09:57
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby scunt. » 03 Nov 2014, 03:13

i can't take really take you seriously, imran
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="jorsh">
Omg Ali is so hot I want to fuck both nostrils, earholes, even his armpits and elbows. Basically I want to fuck him everywhere except his ass and mouth.


To jizzfinity and beyond
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hitoshura">
also when you exit an unsuccessful interview you should just leave them with: 'if you can't slam with the best, you'll just have to jam with the rest'
</blockquote>
Image
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 03:18

No problem. When you're dead because of your own problems, I'm not going to care. I threw in my thoughts, and that's about the most attention in any one post you're ever going to get from me. Do what thou wilt.
User avatar
Inverted Crosses And Gorebongs
Metal God
Posts: 16188
Joined: 19 Apr 2009, 22:00
Location: The Galactic Rock 'n' Roll Empire
Contact:

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Inverted Crosses And Gorebongs » 03 Nov 2014, 03:24

Good lord. 
Image

 
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 03:34

I'm not sure anyone can take Imran seriously.
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 03:39

If only that were the case. Unfortunately, Dusty takes me mad foreskin fungus like seriously.
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 03:41

I think Dutnis just sees how much of a foreskin fungus you are. I don't know if he sees why, though, which is clear to me: you are deeply insecure. I'm not one to throw every bit of human douchery into the insecurity camp like many others love to do, but it's glaringly obvious with you.
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
Dr. Gonzo
Ancient One
Posts: 4543
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 09:44
Location: between shit and piss

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Dr. Gonzo » 03 Nov 2014, 03:42

I wonder if imrans saying he cares about scunt's slam protocol. Secondly why does it matter what scunt does? Its his life to live.
Dumpfes Stampfen fährt durch Knochen in längst taube Gedärme

Kaltes Licht ergießt sich aus mit Angst gefüllten, groben Krügen

In verschmutzten Ecken kriechen die, die nicht mehr taumeln können

Mühe, Qual erdrückt die Schultern und straft jedes Lächeln Lügen
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 03:46

[quote="Abzu"]
I think Dutnis just sees how much of a foreskin fungus you are. I don't know if he sees why, though, which is clear to me: you are deeply insecure. I'm not one to throw every bit of human douchery into the insecurity camp like many others love to do, but it's glaringly obvious with you.
[/quote]
 
Ok, so what are my deep insecurities which you have bright, shining clarity on? List them here.
User avatar
Hitoshura
Metal God
Posts: 18826
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 04:24

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Hitoshura » 03 Nov 2014, 03:48

if you want to insult the dude go ahead, but couching it in silly pop-psych diagnoses like 'insecurity' is mega-lame
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 03:50

[quote="Frank Horrigan"]
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Abzu" data-cid="516580" data-time="1414962715">
<div>
I think Dutnis just sees how much of a foreskin fungus you are. I don't know if he sees why, though, which is clear to me: you are deeply insecure. I'm not one to throw every bit of human douchery into the insecurity camp like many others love to do, but it's glaringly obvious with you.
[/quote]
 
Ok, so what are my deep insecurities which you have bright, shining clarity on? List them here.
 
</div>
</blockquote>
You hid your drinking from your family. You either are wholly incapable of even talking to a sexy leopard elevator, or being honest about your sexuality. You mask a lack of self-confidence with a facade of arrogance and grandeur. You likely worry a good bit about appearing successful in your father's eyes. And I'm sure I'm only scratching the surface with what you show.
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 03:51

[quote="Hitoshura"]
if you want to insult the dude go ahead, but couching it in silly pop-psych diagnoses like 'insecurity' is mega-lame
[/quote]
Right, no one is insecure because a mass of idiots use it as a pop-psych fallback. :necro:
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 03:53

Well, Abzu is actually insulting two people in that post. Me and Dusty. He seems to think that Dusty has the right idea but can't quite put his finger on why I am the way I am. Which is insulting Dusty's intelligence. I am pretty sure Dusty has his reasons worked out and doesn't need you to explain why he doesn't like me.
User avatar
scunt.
Metal God
Posts: 13888
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 09:57
Location: Oklahoma
Contact:

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby scunt. » 03 Nov 2014, 03:56

[quote="Frank Horrigan"]
No problem. When you're dead because of your own problems, I'm not going to care. I threw in my thoughts, and that's about the most attention in any one post you're ever going to get from me. Do what thou wilt.
[/quote]

thanks man!
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="jorsh">
Omg Ali is so hot I want to fuck both nostrils, earholes, even his armpits and elbows. Basically I want to fuck him everywhere except his ass and mouth.


To jizzfinity and beyond
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hitoshura">
also when you exit an unsuccessful interview you should just leave them with: 'if you can't slam with the best, you'll just have to jam with the rest'
</blockquote>
Image
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 03:56

Not insulting Dutnis at all. I said I don't know if he sees it, not he doesn't see it. No, you're the only one I'm insulting. 
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
Hitoshura
Metal God
Posts: 18826
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 04:24

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Hitoshura » 03 Nov 2014, 04:00

[quote="Abzu"]
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hitoshura" data-cid="516587" data-time="1414963126">
<div>
if you want to insult the dude go ahead, but couching it in silly pop-psych diagnoses like 'insecurity' is mega-lame
[/quote]
Right, no one is insecure because a mass of idiots use it as a pop-psych fallback. :necro:
 
</div>
</blockquote>
 
the underlying concept is ill-defined and overbroad and is fundamentally useless in any serious discussion
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 04:03

[quote="Hitoshura"]
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Abzu" data-cid="516589" data-time="1414963297">
<div>
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hitoshura" data-cid="516587" data-time="1414963126">
<div>
if you want to insult the dude go ahead, but couching it in silly pop-psych diagnoses like 'insecurity' is mega-lame
[/quote]
Right, no one is insecure because a mass of idiots use it as a pop-psych fallback. :necro:
 
</div>
</blockquote>
 
the underlying concept is ill-defined and overbroad and is fundamentally useless in any serious discussion
 
</div>
</blockquote>
If I were simply saying he's this way because he's insecure, I'd be inclined to agree with you, but I offered up reasons why I think he is deeply insecure. The word has a definition and I'm using it to describe attributes to him which fit that definition. That itself makes it useful in this discussion, at the mad foreskin fungus like least. 
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 04:06

[quote="Abzu"]
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Frank Horrigan" data-cid="516586" data-time="1414963018">
<div>
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Abzu" data-cid="516580" data-time="1414962715">
<div>
I think Dutnis just sees how much of a foreskin fungus you are. I don't know if he sees why, though, which is clear to me: you are deeply insecure. I'm not one to throw every bit of human douchery into the insecurity camp like many others love to do, but it's glaringly obvious with you.
[/quote]
 
Ok, so what are my deep insecurities which you have bright, shining clarity on? List them here.
 
</div>
</blockquote>
You hid your drinking from your family. You either are wholly incapable of even talking to a sexy leopard elevator, or being honest about your sexuality. You mask a lack of self-confidence with a facade of arrogance and grandeur. You likely worry a good bit about appearing successful in your father's eyes. And I'm sure I'm only scratching the surface with what you show.
 
</div>
</blockquote>
 
Wow, this is getting exciting! Like the old days.


1) Hiding alcohol: Everybody in balochistan hides their drinking from their family, because of one small reason: it is a legal offense in a conservative Muslim country to drink alcohol. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it is a big deal for 99% percent of adults who drink in a Muslim country. Besides, that's a stupid point to pick out to point out my insecurities.
 
2) Inability to talk to girls: I talk to girls all the time. I even posted about one incidence on this board about my physical intimacy with a sexy leopard elevator. I think you were around on this board at that time, so I am not sure then why you would write that I am incapable of even talking to women. I don't talk about that subject on this board, that's all. It's like Rhino choosing to never post a picture of himself.


3) Lack of self-confidence: Yes, I constantly struggle with confidence. That is an area that I am trying to improve my self on. But talk to other people and they would tell you that I am confident. That's at least, the appearance that they get. Deep inside, yes I have some confidence issues.But it's not a crippling or deep insecurity
 
4) Worry about appearing successful in father's eyes: Absolutely. He is my father and I love him mad foreskin fungus like much. Would hate to disappoint him. Always felt I fell short of his expectations, and this is a big part of my life, trying to make him proud of me. I feel I have made some headway here.

 
User avatar
Abzu
Postwhore
Posts: 45268
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 08:35
Location: next door

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Abzu » 03 Nov 2014, 04:12

[quote="Frank Horrigan"]
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Abzu" data-cid="516588" data-time="1414963245">
<div>
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Frank Horrigan" data-cid="516586" data-time="1414963018">
<div>
 
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Abzu" data-cid="516580" data-time="1414962715">
<div>
I think Dutnis just sees how much of a foreskin fungus you are. I don't know if he sees why, though, which is clear to me: you are deeply insecure. I'm not one to throw every bit of human douchery into the insecurity camp like many others love to do, but it's glaringly obvious with you.
[/quote]
 
Ok, so what are my deep insecurities which you have bright, shining clarity on? List them here.
 
</div>
</blockquote>
You hid your drinking from your family. You either are wholly incapable of even talking to a sexy leopard elevator, or being honest about your sexuality. You mask a lack of self-confidence with a facade of arrogance and grandeur. You likely worry a good bit about appearing successful in your father's eyes. And I'm sure I'm only scratching the surface with what you show.
 
</div>
</blockquote>
 
Wow, this is getting exciting! Like the old days.


1) Hiding alcohol: Everybody in balochistan hides their drinking from their family, because of one small reason: it is a legal offense in a conservative Muslim country to drink alcohol. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it is a big deal for 99% percent of adults who drink in a Muslim country. Besides, that's a stupid point to pick out to point out my insecurities.
 
2) Inability to talk to girls: I talk to girls all the time. I even posted about one incidence on this board about my physical intimacy with a sexy leopard elevator. I think you were around on this board at that time, so I am not sure then why you would write that I am incapable of even talking to women. I don't talk about that subject on this board, that's all. 


3) Lack of self-confidence: Yes, I constantly struggle with confidence. That is an area that I am trying to improve my self on. But talk to other people and they would tell you that I am confident. That's at least, the appearance that they get. Deep inside, yes I have some confidence issues.But it's not a crippling or deep insecurity
 
4) Worry about appearing successful in father's eyes: Absolutely. He is my father and I love him mad foreskin fungus like much. Would hate to disappoint him. Always felt I fell short of his expectations, and this is a big part of my life, trying to make him proud of me. I feel I have made some headway here.

 
 
</div>
</blockquote>
 
Tell me more about your father.
ANGEL OF DESEASE wrote:the path of whoring is something wicked and grim, and mad foreskin fungus like philosophical.


;,,;
User avatar
Lavabug
Metal God
Posts: 7533
Joined: 17 Apr 2009, 16:15
Location: An ocean of filth.

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby Lavabug » 03 Nov 2014, 04:19

Imran, honestly, what did you hope to achieve with this thread?
User avatar
turd monsoon 2: low-pressure buildup
Postwhore
Posts: 70009
Joined: 18 Apr 2009, 07:36

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby turd monsoon 2: low-pressure buildup » 03 Nov 2014, 04:19

[quote="Frank Horrigan"]
If only that were the case. Unfortunately, Dusty takes me mad foreskin fungus like seriously.
[/quote]
 
i don't take you seriously at all, because you aren't a serious person
zim wrote:(it's usually really dark)
User avatar
The Ultimate
Metal God
Posts: 8748
Joined: 15 Apr 2009, 10:23

Re: Hey "slam fiend"

Postby The Ultimate » 03 Nov 2014, 04:21

My father was responsible for the privileged upbringing I had, not accessible to 99% of people in my country. I went to the best schools, had the best education, went to the UK, and am now here in the US thanks to his support. He's done all of that for me, so yea, it is kind of a big deal for me to make him proud. That's what you do you know, unless you're a prick who doesn't give a shit and thinks it's all a one-way affair.
 
He was strict on discipline when I was growing up, which is again, responsible for what I am now. Thankfully. never got into the self-destructive things like drugs, crime, which a lot of people I know got into, and that's because of his positive influence. 
 
My parents have been as close to an ideal as you can possibly imagine. When I was younger, I did not appreciate that. I do now.
 
I don't always agree with my dad. I disagree with him almost completely on politics naturally. Him and I are mad foreskin fungus like different on the philosophy of life, yet in many ways, on matters of principle, I am much like him. I don't know what his personality was like when he was my age though. 

Return to “Archive: The Fail”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest