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The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 10:41
by Abzu
I used to write for a horrible local zine some decade or so ago. When I did, I interviewed bands in the most jackass ways I could think of. One of those interviews was Steve Tucker and I got good and drunk before sending him the questions. It bordered on trolling and was silly as hell, but he was a great sport.




I hear that the new album is more on the pagan side... care to elaborate?



Tucker: I am a pagan , and I wrote the lyrics from my standpoint and my views

of things, there are definite relations to the powers of nature and

the rightousness of it's purity.



I heard once that Dave Vincent was booted for not writing about the ancients

enough... was the person who told me this right or just a fucking moron?




Tucker: david was definately moving away from what the band is about,

spirituality, he said and did some things that were only from his opinion,

not that of the band and it's direction.



Your vocals fit the sound very nicely...as well as Dave's did, if not better!



Tucker: Thanks man!!! I am very proud of my vocals on gateways ,I

think that this record truly represents me.



What do you think of punk?



Tucker: I really don't listen to much punk to be honest, never did.

I am a metalhead!!



How the fuck does pete play like that?! its always so fucking tight!



Tucker: Practice !!!!!!!!!!!! Pete is very commited!!And talented!!



How does Pete feel about Rolling Stone accusing Morbid Angel of using

a drum machine?




Tucker: I think that was taken out of context, everyone knows Pete

uses triggers so that he has an amazing sound everynight, the misconception

is that triggers somehow cheat and cause you to play faster or something of

this nature. The fact is that triggers are just basically microphones

attached to the drum, when you hit the drum it sends a signal , so

triggers do not cheat!!!!!!



Maybe im the wrong person for this interview because i have to admit,

im very biased. Morbid Angel is probably my all time favorite... but

fukkit, how could i pass this up?! Anyway... do you hate alot

of people?




tucker: hahha man that makes you the perfect person for this

interview!!!!! I hate people that do things to me to cause hate

them!!!!! I hate no one just for the hell of it, it is a waste

of my energy!!



Who do you hate?



Tucker: hahha nah man that shit is my buisness!!!



In the tradition of SpankyZine, do you spanky alot of people?



Tucker: occasionally !! Got to be careful though man ,i could

hurt my hand!!



Just how did Trey fit all of that sludge into his pick when writing

Where The Slime Live?




Tucker: he used a 10 gallon pick !!!!!! they sell them in Texas

i think!!



List off your influenzas.



Tucker: Slayer , Iron maiden , Slayer some more



What's your favorite album of all time?



Tucker: Man I have way too many favorite albums!!!!!!



Why do you like Spanky Payne's mom so much?



tucker: she has excellant tits man!!!! i am sorry to do it but

I cannot help myself!!



Hey thanx for this opportunity! Any last words, hatreds, or rants?



Tucker: thanks man ,we will see you on tour

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 10:49
by biospazz
Steve handled that excessively well.



Ever read the Bill Zebub interviews w/both David and Trey? Far more bogus.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 11:13
by ^_____________^
I've read that shit before. It's fucking hilarious.



[quote name="Bill Zebub"]Has anyone ever hugged thee and loved the and called the ‘George Emanuelle?”

Has anyone done what now?



Has anyone hugged thee and loved thee and called the “George?”

Not that I remember.



If thou ever played baseball, wouldst thou be pitcher or catcher?

I don’t know.



If thou wert having gay sex with thy manager, wouldst thou be pitcher or catcher?

Well, I don’t know. That sounds petty weak to me.[/quote]



Also:



[quote name="Steve Tucker"]devy's clits[/quote]

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 13:01
by shubniggurath
Ha ha the grimoire ruled! I remember he asked Dave whether anyone ever called him "Davy Davy stick thy head in gravy" and Dave said that was just a stupid question.



"hugged thee and loved thee" cracks me up every time! Anyone ever read Bill's infamous interview with Phil Fasciana? Classic!

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 16:20
by agony bagony
[quote name="themicrulah"]
[quote name="Steve Tucker"]devy's clits[/quote][/quote]

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 17:07
by TamPron
This is a good thread.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 20:20
by shubniggurath
I still have a bunch of my old Grimoires. Anyone interested in me scanning or transcribing some of the better moments? I have a feeling a lot of folks missed out due to age or geographical location.



I love the way Bill would start some questions with "Am I gay, or _________________?"



Much as I like the hard-on bearer's humor, I saw one of his metal documentaries and thought it was pretty lame.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 20:45
by biospazz
Pulsar at least wasn't a complete dick. These are just downright uncofortable.



David: <!-- m -->http://www.thegrimoire.com/666/MorbidAn ... fault.aspx<!-- m -->



Trey: <!-- m -->http://www.thegrimoire.com/666/MorbidAn ... fault.aspx<!-- m -->

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 20:48
by Abzu
Hahaha I was probably a little inspired by Bill. I used to read the Grimoire on the regular. That asshole was always taking the piss.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 20:49
by Abzu
[quote name="slimegod"]I still have a bunch of my old Grimoires. Anyone interested in me scanning or transcribing some of the better moments? I have a feeling a lot of folks missed out due to age or geographical location.



I love the way Bill would start some questions with "Am I gay, or _________________?"



Much as I like the hard-on bearer's humor, I saw one of his metal documentaries and thought it was pretty lame.[/quote]

Please do!!!



His movies are laaaaaaaaaame but his interviews were funny

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 20:53
by Hugo.
That interview seemed decent to me :bang:

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 21:37
by Uros
"This interview with Dave Vincent was conducted by Bill Zebub shortly after Eric the Big-Headed joined the band"



:lol:

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 22:48
by Abzu
[quote name="Grimoire"]As you can tell, most of my questions were really rumors that you had the opportunity to dispel.



Yeah, but, I mean, that's what I'm saying. That kind of stuff happens. But it really doesn't mean anything. The only thing that means anything at all is what is tangible, what you can hold in your hand, like a record that is just crushing, that people are just loving it everywhere and that is keeping this goddamn scene, if that's what you want to call it.. the scene alive because other people are just walking away from it as fast as they can... all these bands that used to be death metal - they're no longer death metal now. You know what I mean? We are death metal warriors and we always will be.



So I can quote you in the future if you will put out anything that is not death metal?



Well c'mon, man! I mean, we got two records on a major label! What's not death metal about this band? That's what we're all about. If we were gonna do something, it would have already happened. But yes, you can quote me on that.



(editor's note - I am quoting him on that. Dave later joined the trendy and non-deathmetal band called "Genitortures") [/quote]



:oldryan:

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 11 May 2011, 22:49
by Abzu
I miss interviewing bands and writing reviews. I should start a zine or something and do that again. It was a lot of fun.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 00:14
by zim
make it a staple to always ask the person your interviewing if they like lemon pie.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 00:59
by Abzu
pie :xx:

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 02:34
by Repner
[youtube]cMOgLKYHFm4[/youtube]

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 06:54
by unholy_ghoul
Haha this hard-on bearer rocks.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 08:13
by ^_____________^
Holy shit, that was the best interview ever.

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 08:36
by Abzu
[quote name="themicrulah"]Holy shit, that was the best interview ever.[/quote]

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 12 May 2011, 12:53
by RitesOfPossession
:lol:

Re: The Award For Shittiest Interview Goes To...

Posted: 03 Aug 2011, 18:51
by xpocalypse
just planned to post it, fabulous :redneck: