Questions for Noyka about Asperger's

[Haunty]

If you're around, I would like to ask you a few questions.  My best fellating lover has long been diagnosed as bipolar, but we recently discovered that he also might have Asperger's as well.  He's, without ever letting on, been unable to identify facial expressions and non-verbal body-language social cues, which, as you might expect, has given him a lot of problems. 
 
So, like I said, if you're still around, post in this topic please.  If not, I'll wait a little while and then PM you.  I know somebody else had it around here, but I can't remember who.  If anybody knows either him or Noyka, it would really, really help out if you'd send them here.  Anybody who can contribute, even anecdotally, to this discussion, would be appreciated.
 
Thanks
 

[Haunty]

[quote="Skinfection"]
mary and max was as enjoyable as it was sad
[/quote]

[scunt.]

assburgers

[droidspawn]

hasnt logged in since april

[Abzu]

I dropped the Noyka signal in Facebook PM with a link to this thread.

[Haunty]

Thanks bud

[User]

:noykasignal:

[Abzu]

[Noyka]

Abzu told me about this topic on Facebook, you can ask me any questions you want I'm an open book when it comes to Autism. I also work as a disabilities advocate and caregiver, disabilities are my life. Please remember Autism is a spectrum and everyone is affected a bit differently but I'm willing to help how I can.

[scunt.]

[quote="Noyka"]
disabilities are my life.
[/quote]

could have worded that a bit better 

[Noyka]

Educating and helping those with disabilites and other caregivers is my job, my passion, and something I'm affected by so I don't know how I could have worded it better when disabilities (particularly Autism) quite literally affects almost all parts of my life

[Inverted Crosses And Gorebongs]

[quote="Noyka"]
Educating and helping those with disabilites and other caregivers is my job, my passion, and something I'm affected by so I don't know how I could have worded it better when disabilities (particularly Autism) quite literally affects almost all parts of my life
[/quote]
 
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what was wrong with your wording in that other post. Whatever. 
 
Nice to see you again, lady.  

[Haunty]

Sorry for the delay, I've been trying to coordinate with my buddy to see if there's anything he'd like me to ask.  I appreciate you coming around for this.
 
 
I guess first and foremost, I ought to start with some background.  My buddy is bipolar; very bipolar.  Until just recently, we thought that was the whole picture.  There was something a little different about the way his manifested, but those of us who are close to him kind of assumed it was just a personality quirk or something.  The thing was that he tended to become very, very angry, and nobody really could figure out why.  He's always been quick to anger at just about any confrontation, and he'd stay angry about stuff for a week, break things, lose sleep, go on heavy drug binges, etc. 
 
Through some recent situations, we came to realize that he's never been able to recognize facial expressions.  I've always noticed some unusual things he's read into social interactions, but dismissed them.  For instance, we could be sitting around at a restaurant, and he'd ask me if there was something wrong.  I never quite why that until recently.  This came up recently at a disability hearing, wherein, going through old psychiatric documentation, that one or two of his therapists had mentioned he might be a sociopath.
 
So anyway, I'm sort of meandering here, and I apologize.  Like I said, it turns out he's been unable to read and identify with other people's emotions via facial and verbal cues.  He's been having to guess at everything that goes on around him with other people, and his bipolar disorder and high IQ have worked to turbocharge the negative possibilities at every step of the way.  He says he spends about 90% of his waking thought thinking people are plotting against him.  If someone walks by, for instance, and glances at him, he'll spend all day wondering if they hate him.  It goes on and on, to the point where he's so exhausted from this mental strain that he'll have to sleep 12 hours a day to recover, and gets sick about 8 times a year.  We've done some research, and he's self-administered a diagnostic he found online, and it points to Asperger's. 
 
Basically, I'd appreciate anything you can tell me about Asperger's (my research indicates this nomenclature has been abandoned recently, but nonetheless...), anything you can tell me about your experiences, and any advice you could give him.  Just knowing that this is where the problem is coming from has been like night and day for him.  His body language has changed, and he seems relaxed and happy for the first time in a long, long time.  I've been in and around psychology for a long, long time, and I've never seen such a "light switch" change before.  Now that being said, with the toxic waste out of the room, there's still a lot of cleanup to do, so to speak, and I'd appreciate any insight you could give into this process.

[Noyka]

DSM-5 which is the book of codes for mental health professionals (like ICD-9 is for non-mental health professionals) no longer recognizes Asperger's because it really is high functioning Autism.


High and low functioning simply mean how capable of independent living an individual is or isn't and despite what some less informed individuals will say are not only useful and appropriate terms, they are necessary to identify the needs individuals have. You will also hear mid-functioning being tossed around - it's just a way to try and separate what is a wide and diverse spectrum of a disorder (Autism).


Symptoms of Autism include inability to pick up on social cues, heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli such as sounds, smells, and feel, tunnel vision itnerest in subjects, inability to process emotions properly and often having inappropriate "meltdowns" or reactions. It is a spectrum and we all have variations of these symptoms. One common way to handle the sensory overload is to stim - this is a repeatative action one uses to cope with the overwhelming stimulation. Many times this invovles rocking back and forward, squealing, flapping, or clapping. Sometimese these are more self destructiive behaviors such as banging one's head into a wall, hitting oneself, skin picking, or other behaviors. I personally deal with skin picking and am seeking cognitive behavior therapy to try to reverse this habit.


Another common thing you see with Autism is shadowing. This is mimicing of actions that we pick up but at inappropriate times. This is more seen with those who are lower functioning and an example would be my brother saw a spitting cobra on the Crocodile Hunter and started mimicing the snake's sound in the car, in restaraunts, and at school. He didn't understand that it was inappropriate to hiss and spit at people, he was just mimicing what he saw.


Tunnel vision interests are "obsessions" people with autism have. Mine happens to be infectious diseases particularly Parasites. This is where we get hyper focused on a topic or two and seem to be unable to get off of it. We may have something remind us of the subject and just have to go on, and on, and on about it even at inappropriate times. An example - I went on about cadavers during family dinners early in college late highschool without realizing how gross that was to the rest of my family.
 
These melt downs many of us have are our version of the flight or fight all human beings have. We are unable to pick up on innate social cues most others can and this adds to confusion. Mix this with the sensory overstimulation and many Autisitcs tend to break down we get panic attacks (particularly Autisitc females), sometiems full temper tatnrums (mostly male children), sometimes lock up and have an inability to communicate what is wrong. It's a way to try to protect yourself from what you perceive as a dangerous situation.


How to treat autism - early intervention. Seriously it's better to treat the symptoms as early as possible. I know if I didn't get therapy as a kid I probably would still be slamming doors in people's face, unable to wear 90% of clothing material, and still talking about inappropriate things at inappropiate times.  You can still train yourself (with the help of a therapist) out of behaviors as an adult (I am currently myself) it's just much more difficult.


Ohhh also bipolar can mimic symptoms of Autism and vice versa so it's a common misdiagnosis and even comorbid with Autism.


Also there is a disorder where you can't pick up on faces (not just the subtle body language - common with Autism) called prosopagnosia, so you're sure it's expressions and not faces in general?


The fact that so many disorders have similar symptoms is why I really suggest professional diagnosing. I'm willing to answer any further questions (it's a broad spectrum) but please don't diagnose him or let him diagnose himself without consulting a professional.

[Haunty]

Yeah, it's too early to start being certain, but we've gone down the board of symptoms related to Asperger's and high functioning autism-spectrum, and he ticks literally every box.  There's all sorts of stuff that he's never told me about, stuff that he's been smart and self-aware enough to hide all his life for fear of persecution and ostracism.  Like for instance, tonight he was telling me about how uncomfortable asymmetry within patterns makes him, and that he has a nervous tick that he's apparently always hid, where he'll tap the thumb and pinky of either hand against the side of his leg for hours while he's alone. 
 
He is scheduled to see a Dr. Antonio Wood, who's supposed to be one of the best in his field of psychiatry.  This will begin the process of diagnosis and treatment, and hopefully will clarify a lot of stuff that has been making us scratch our heads.  I've known my fellating lover since we were 13, and he's managed to hide mountains of stuff from me. 
 
 
Anyway, he said he's going to be thinking about questions he wants me to relay to you.  One thing off the top of his head he wanted me to ask you about was whether or not you could share anything you've learned about how to handle some of the situations that arise within dating relationships.  There's obviously a lot of inherent potential for miscommunication and misunderstanding there, and a lot of potential for rage and blame when these things go badly.  He has a long dating history, so he's not asking for "how to date," but rather, how not to fuck it up once you're in the relationship.

[Noyka]

Relationships are always tricky. I've found it's better to be upfront about having Autism and that you need the person to be blunt with you. I have a lot of trouble picking up on hints - basically I don't get them and sometimes I'll miss body language signs that are apparently obvious to others. I just explain upfront what's up so the person understands I'm not trying to be rude. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't, frankly if the person isn't willing to try to understand how you communicate they probably aren't worth it.


One thing I did to minimize some of my issues with social cues and has helped a lot with dating is I people watched for hours a day. I studied expressions, hand signals, tones of voices, all of it. I studied and started to learn how people communicate who are not on the spectrum. I started comparing it to my own life and how I communicate and what I might be missing with my own friends. I also started turning the table, thinking how I might feel if certain things were said or done to me. It really helped.


The fact he is self aware I might try the flipping the table that may help more. I still believe communication is the key with relationships.

[rhino]

hi noyka

[User]

Dismissed.

[Bill Clinton]

Trey should comment on this topic. Trey i know you're reading this!

[Grudge]

Noyka do you still listen to metal?

[Bill Clinton]

[Grudge]

What are you laughing at Gleeso

[User]

that isn't gleeso, it's bill clinton

he used to be president

[Noyka]

Noyka do you still listen to metal?

Yes mostly death and doom